When we talk about forming habits, we hear terms like “self motivated.”
“Intrinsic reward” is another one.
This means that we do the activity (which is hopefully serving us!) automatically, or for simply the value it adds to us, or because it feels good.
Don’t discount the extrinsic reward or external motivation. For the habit to start, it needs to become conditioning. Conditioning and the intrinsic reward doesn’t happen with a single, or even a few exposures.
It takes a lot.
Use extrinsic rewards to fill the gap. This can be hard, it can feel selfish, or materialistic.. But you need to recognise that you are programming the subconscious part of the brain. This isn’t your high-level neo cortex or decision making area, it’s a lot deeper, and a lot simpler. It sure as hell seems a lot slower to catch on too.
Rewards can be used at different intervals for completing the task: 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, 1 year…
This could be a dinner out with friends, a badge or token, some group or public recognition given by a coach.. There are many options.
Embrace the extrinsic reward for yourself where needed.
Recognise when others close to you are looking to build their own new habits and help them with their own external motivation.
