Feedback, when done well, is positive. It is pro-awareness, pro-growth.
The term “negative” feedback seems to have gained some traction, and I actually wrote about it back here. Yet in reflection, the “negative” part of the word is misguided – a reaction or swing of the pendulum in response to the typical “sugarcoating” that stands in the way of making things better.
The word “feedback,” on its own, is enough.
Feedback requires a lot of effort and empathy. There is nothing negative about it, we are simply trying to “see” the world as it really is, and reflect this in our best work.
It’s clear that “feedback” is a powerful tool to raise awareness.
And it’s also clear that because of the empathy required and pride or ego involved, both giving and receiving feedback is incredibly difficult.
If we practice as a willing recipient though, if we learn to welcome what we see and hear and understand the context and positions, then we have a powerful tool.
Here are a couple of thoughts:
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Ask for feedback. Not “good or bad,” but simply “what do you see?” or “how does this land with you?”
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Don’t justify what you did. This is a defence mechanism. Instead, ask more questions, follow that thread. Seek to understand from their narrative.
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“Why are they saying this?” “Why are they asking these questions?” – from their perspective, what are they seeing?
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What did I not do that brought this question or comment to light?
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Knowing what this person is telling me, what would I have said differently?
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Without having to change my work, consider the question, “what would it look like if I pivoted, based on what this person is telling me?”
From here, we can choose to adjust, or not. Either way though we have grown. We have made the effort and followed the steps to understand more about another person, their narrative and how our work is being received.
