To be polite.
When we are young, this is one of the first lessons we learn. Don’t ruffle feathers.
Of course, generally a helpful posture. Certainly preferable to outright aggression.
But later in life, we often see a little side-effect, or confusion, and that is around making assertions.
An assertion is taking a stand. It requires an upright posture. A strong back.
Believing in something, speaking about it, writing about it. Putting it out there.
Of course, this ruffles feathers, and can even upset others.
It can feel in contrast to “politeness,” yet really, only through our assertions can we make positive change.
When we stay quiet so we don’t upset anyone, we are often leaving this change on the table.
The confusion lies in that while it may feel like politeness, what we are really seeing in this reluctance is simply another form of fear.
And, by seeing the fear, naming it, smiling at it, we can slowly create the practice of moving through it, to make things happen.
