Breaking a promise with yourself generally isn’t helpful.
Maybe we wanted to start some training, or a new business, or agreed to meet someone…
We started off great, then pulled back, jumped into something else, or just didn’t show up.
If we break enough of these promises, we don’t tend to trust ourselves at all, and it makes creating anything new pretty difficult, and adds to more conflict in the mind.
There are two things we can do if we find ourselves here.
- Shrink the promise. Maybe you’re used to setting 5 year goals, or 1 year intentions… Not working? Try 8 weeks, or 1 week, or, what’s one thing you want to do just today? It’s not about the size of the promise, but the fact that you can regain trust with yourself.
- Inquire into the original conflict that a) sets up promises that are too big, or b) is conflicted with carrying through on the promise in the first place. If the promise to yourself looks easy on paper, what happens? Is it energy? Distraction? A new shiny object? Where does the friction come from? Where is the root fear? What would happen if you could stick to the promises and trust yourself?
When we break promises with ourselves we usually impact others, and, we definitely create more conflict within ourselves. Using this as a door to more understanding is often helpful.
